I have come to understand that this is one of God's amazing tools that he uses to give us a deeper understanding of our complete dependence upon him.
Just a brief recap, mostly for me, cause I do not look back in life.....February 26, 2015 Mammogram done after a four year hiatus.....March 16, 2015 repeat mammogram and sonogram due to suspicious area. April 7, 2015 Needle biopsy in radiology of suspicious area. April 10, 2015 results positive for cancer. Referrals to surgeon for surgical treatment.
April 16, 2015 appointment with surgeon and surgery scheduled.
On May 6, 2015 I had my radiation oncology visit and the five weeks of post op radiation therapy was explained.
On May 13, 2015 at Providence Saint Vincent's Medical Center in Portland, Oregon. I had a right breast lumpectomy and sentinel node biopsy.
Insight gleaned from this experience.....many, many women walk in these shoes in one form or another.....actually 1 in 3 women will be diagnosed with breast cancer.
( and I think that is where the above collage came from focusing on shoes that passed by the pre-op room)
After my diagnosis so many stepped up with their stories and insight. The biggest story of all is that breast cancer is treatable and curable. Finding it early helps......So please....please.....get yearly mammograms and do self breast exams. It is the most important defense you have.
Why Providence you might ask??? Well, I know the hospital well.....This is where my first husband's 3 year journey took place. This is where God talked to me and asked me to come to him and I yelled...."NO" This is where my Mom had her lung cancer surgery and then her triple bypass surgery.
I always knew I would be coming back one day and it would be my turn.....and 20 years later it was my turn.....The first thing I did when I returned to Providence was to go into the Chapel where I had told God "NO" and thank and praise him for never giving up on me and to affirm that I was his forever and forever.
From the time my feet hit the halls of the hospital on May 13, 2015, from check in, to 2 failed attempts at starting the IV, to the radiologist, to the sonogram technician, to the nuclear medicine, to the pre and post op nurses, to the residents, to the interns, to the IV specialist team, to the mammography technician to every person I came in contact with......I witnessed and shared the hope that is within me that surpasses all human knowledge.
This was the hardest part......the delay in surgery.....time to make up all kinds of bad things in your head....to review the pictures of the surgery you looked at on the internet, time to let fear seep in....but God gave me an anesthesiologist whose second job is a stand-up comedian and just playing in the moment brought me to the OR, looking up at the big lights and saying.....I need to take a picture of that! and then sleep and turning my life over to the Great Physician and all those who he was guiding.
God heals - and He is the great physician and He can heal anyone of any affliction, whether it be physical, mental, or emotional. There are going to be times in your life when you'll need God to heal you or a loved one, so don't be afraid to pray to God for the healing that you need.
The first gift God gave me years ago was my creativity and the ability to create beautiful wearable things with my hands. That gift was given to me to use to share him with others.
This additional gift, Cancer, was given to me in order to release all residual reluctance and doubt about the light that I have within me that needs to burn brightly without fear and without hesitancy.
"Here I am Lord" Use me up for your glory......Your child.....Rosie